Wednesday, June 15, 2005

The Telltale Heart

I was watching an old episode of The Simpsons the other day and stumbled across an episode that reminded me of our class. A good summary of the story can be found here. A shorter summary is posted here from

Bart tries to impress Jimbo Jones and his friends by stealing the head of the Jebediah Springfield statue in the town square. The townspeople are devastated by his act of vandalism and only Homer can help him return the head to its shoulders and fend off the angry mob.

Eventually the entire town turns on the culprit and goes after Bart with torches because they are so enraged. It reminded me about the important role that statues play in providing a place with a sense of unity. To help sum up how intense the town gets about finding the culprit (Bart of course), I have a quote again and it is from Krusty the Clown:

Krusty: (Grimly) There's someone out there in Krustyland who has committed an atrocity! If you know who cut of Jebediah's head, I don't care if it's your brother, your sister, your daddy or your mommy. (Cheerfully) Turn 'em in, and Krusty will send you a free slide-whistle just like Sideshow Bob's!

Also the episode has a part that even mocks the validity of these sensational monument stories (Apple Tree anyone) in the following sequence (this one is from The Simpsons Archive)

[Caption: SPRINGFIELD: A CITY HELD HOSTAGE. DAY ONE (dramatization)] Jebediah Obadiah Zachariah Jedediah Springfield, he was…
[A cheesy documentary. Jebediah chops wood.]
In 1838, along the way, he met a ferocious bear…
[What is obviously a man in a bear costume appears.]
[Jebediah discards his axe and wrestles the bear.]
[The caption `dramatization' reappears.]
And killed him with his bare hands. That's B-A-R-E hands.
[Jebediah wins]
We've recently uncovered evidence that the bear, in fact, probably killed him.

Anyway in the end the episode was pretty funny. But I was laughing because the whole time I could not get over the fact that the statue looked familiar. Well everyone… here he is… a man who needs no introduction. Oregon’s own The Golden Pioneer.

Yeah I’m not gonna lie… he is a pretty boss statue. Can anyone rival The Golden Pioneer? Post a statue from your state if you would like. But come on… be real… nothing can REALLY compete with The Golden Pioneer. Over and out.


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